Staying in a Failed Marriage

My of our Florida dissolution of marriage clients and our Georgia and Alabama divorce clients labor under a morally based misconception of how the courts and the laws of these states treat the concept of leaving their spouse. The basic Judeo Christian concepts which much of the country has historically followed would imply that the moral imperative is to stay with a bad marriage for the sake of either saving the relationship or serving the best interests of the children.
In the seventies however, most communities, in one form or another, determined that it was in the best interests of the children for them to escape the bickering and animosity of a failed marriage partnership. We may have learned through the years that may not have been the case or the preference of the children. Nevertheless the result was the addition of “no fault” grounds as a means of obtaining a divorce.
However with the advent of “no fault grounds” came another concept, to wit, that if the spouse could have easily have ended the marriage without fault and chose not to, it was because that spouse was enjoying the benefits of the marriage relationship. Forget that the spouse may have been routinely victimized, abused, taken for granted or left to assume both parenting roles or was burdened with the role of sole provider in a tough economy.
The rewards of heaven bestowed upon those who patiently endure in silence or otherwise, the pangs of a failed marriage are better sought celestially rather than in the earthly courts of man. In the circuit courts of Broward, Miami-Dade or Palm Beach counties of Florida and circuit courts of the Circuit Courts of Russell and Lee counties of Alabama or the superior courts of Muscogee and Harris counties of Georgia, there are no such rewards. In fact, all of these courts penalize the spouse who stays.
In Florida alimony has been quantified by the length of a marriage. Marriages of over seven years provide for alimony not related to transitional reestablishment or rehabilitation for up to the length of the marriage, to wit "durational alimony”. Marriages of over seventeen years provide for permanent alimony. No one asks if you were happy, if you had a supportive or compatible spouse or if you were afraid to leave. They simply make the assumptions set forth above, to wit, if you stayed you had a beneficial reason for doing so which subjects you to alimony.
In Florida “fault” is not generally admitted into evidence when determining alimony although the statute continues to state that it is a factor. In truth it is virtually irrelevant if not related to the wasting of marital assets. While it cannot be determined that a better relationship with your children will result from your “hanging in there”, it can certainly be said that you will generally pay for those years twice.
Our basic legal advice: Recognize and be willing to acknowledge when you are living in a marriage which no longer shares common goals, common interests or sees the future in a common or compatible fashion. Then take action by making a conscientious effort to resolve that though intensive group type therapy, family therapy or personal growth and marriage growth programs. Find every means available to become empathetic of the pain which your behavior brings into the life of your spouse and fix these problems. If they cannot be fixed then call your Florida family lawyer, your Georgia domestic relations attorney or your Alabama matrimonial attorney and take steps to end the relationship as soon thereafter as possible. It is outrageous to ever tell your children you stayed in the failed marriage because of them. What a cruel burden to place on their shoulders! Acknowledge that its time to leave, take action and call today 954 522-1922 in FL or 706 324-4444 in GA or AL. or email dh@bhalaws.com or dlhirschpc@aol.com or visit our website a www.brawerhirschlaw.com.